Difficult Times

This has been a rough week. I have felt paralyzed with the amount and degree of work I've had thrown at me- from the conflicting work styles of my two supervisors, from being on the front line with pretty aggressive schedules, and from not knowing if I am about to make a mistake. This is definitely a tough transition this time around. I see the opportunity to learn and overcome my fears by just taking the risk and pushing myself to do whatever it takes, but that is easier said than done. It's exhausting. I think my boss from the states is coming this month for a while, so I'm hoping that I'll feel more stable if/when he arrives.

To make matters worse, my grandfather Bummy passed away very suddenly this past week. I did not get to see my grandparents in the crazy few days before my transfer, and I am swept over with grief and regret. I had been torn over how to get back and what I should do, but under the advice of family, I've decided to stay and press forward without creating more stress on myself. I loved Bummy very much and regret not incorporating him more into my life, but I know that the Lord was a priority in his life, and I believe I will see him again some day. Bummy always made me laugh and made me feel loved, and I can't imagine going back and not having him there. While this has been devastating for me and my family, I am very thankful for the emails and prayers from family and friends in Florida.

This Friday morning, I forced myself out to try a church. I felt uplifted as I found myself driving down sandy roads in a stream of cars all headed to the same place, passing by families walking with bibles tucked under their arms. It was a familiar feeling; the church reminded me a lot of my church in Gainesville. Ironically, this was the pastor's last week before moving to Canada, but they have a pastor from D.C. ready to take over. I was able to meet a few older men, and I was invited to meet with a mens group early tomorrow morning. The church is very mission-oriented, especially with regard to reaching the regional Chinese, Philippino, and Arabic populations. Where in the past I've hesitated in committing to a church, I now want to make every effort to get involved (especially because I'm not going anywhere). I am excited to join and contribute to a body set up in such a critical mission field.

P.S. Sk*pe works! Er, sometimes works! Get a microphone, follow the link on the right, set up a username, and look me up!! It may be spotchy but I think it's all in the timing...