Port Elizabeth Highlights

Two terrible things happened in the Johannesberg Airport restaurant: Number one was the stolen passport (and UAE residence visa). Number two was when we ordered bloody marys, and they brought us most of the ingredients instead of making the drinks for us. We would have several opportunities to re-experience this confusing national custom.



Once we flew into PE, we were driven to our hotel, where I learned the lesson that comfort should precede cost savings if the alternative is accommodations resembling a penitentiary. We ordered in terrible food, surfed through the 3 grainy TV channels, and I tried to forget everything by burying my head into a book. We had no plug adapters, so no computer. We were told not to take taxis. Ty, Neddie, and I were so frustrated and on the verge of breaking down, and though we searched each other silently for some sense of stability, none of us could find the encouragement in each other to steal. We were blind to any itinerary for the wedding events, so we couldn't have felt more out of control. Since all we had left were each other, and I wasn't going home without my passport, we gave up and resigned to our prison cells.

The next morning, Neddie and I walked to the McDonalds where I began my morning routine of calling government offices while forcing down hashbrowns. Groggy from the time zone and my reality as a crime statistic, we gathered together with the rest of the Dubai crew then headed to the wedding. The wedding was in a small church surrounded by barbed wire, but the landscape was friendly and scenic in daylight. I imagined church all-night lock-ins or night-time games of "Sardines" carried an extra element of terror.

Just like Scott/Minnemie's wedding, the guests departed first and created the mob outside to intercept the bride and groom. Kids pelted each other with fistfuls of flower petals while we waited to give the last well wishes to the couple. To get the Dubai crowd to the reception events, we were picked up in a taxi which doubled as a rave. Their approach was to play club music full blast to keep business in an apparently competitive public transportation market. The back seat was actually the subwoofers. I fought the teenage remnants of needless embarrassment, and we all resigned to enjoy the ride and resultant hearing loss.



Skipping ahead, we took a trip to one of the game reserves outside of PE. It was a huge expanse of land, and we were driven around for three hours looking for animals. The wind was cold, so we rode covered in blankets and ate snack-sized sweet chili pepper flavored Doritos. This flavor of Doritos is common in Africa and the Middle East but not sold across North America to the dismay of the Canadians with us. They risked our personal safety, crunching chips and rustling the bags even when we were close to the unfed lions. Looking back, sitting in blankets and eating snacks probably lessened the experience, as this is the same manner in which I watch safaris on the Discovery Channel or on Nat Geo Wild. Later I ate a termite, and we ate warthog and ostrich kababs, so I guess that balanced us out. The termite tasted minty.









We drove the hills searching for any animal we could stalk, but no elephants. We were determined to see elephants, so 10 of us took the van to Addo Elephant Park. To get in for the reduced rate, we had to pretend we were South Africans. I shamefully practiced the accent in case someone decided to test us. At Addo, you drive in your own car around the park but aren't allowed to get out. Here, we saw dung beetles, water buffalo, ostriches, more warthogs and more deer-like animals. In our slow, endless search for elephants with no possible exit from the vehicle, the bladder situation onboard climaxed. 6 out of 10 bladders were at critical mass, and even the bride cringed in pain. The 2 best parts about this story were that I didn't have to go, and that the groom's sister Monica was oblivious to the situation.

"Can we please speed up? I am in agony."
"How far until we get to the rest-stop?"
"Andre, can you back up slowly? I think I saw something back there... keep backing, keep backing, keep backing... well I think we just need to wait here for a while."

This replayed 5 times. Meanwhile, the driver (the bride's brother) aggrevated the situation. Andre never seemed to hear anyone's impatient pleas and kept the van at a crawl, stopped, or in reverse looking for what could have been an elephant.

"This is an emergency, we have to get to a toilet NOW!"

...and no repsonse or gas pedal action from Andre. I'm sure seeing the abundant piles of dung along the trail didn't help our crew. Finally, all were ready to risk the $80 fine and park ejection, and so everyone flooded out of the van into the brush. I was convinced that now the elusive elephants would show up in time to trample our pee-ers. Ty peed for at least 1 good, solid minute.




We eventually saw a herd of elephants heading away from us, but by that point everyone but Monica was physically exhausted and fed up with the trip. Despite everything, I really enjoyed it- it was just great to see some green instead of concrete and sand dunes!!!

Those are pretty much the highlights from Port Elizabeth. Blog entry on Part 2 in Cape Town to follow...